Papa Wolf
by mel.wolfgirl
Summary: Summary: "He's learned from the best that it's always the one that throws the first punch that wins the fight.  Brady's utterly unprepared for Jared to not punch back."  TIC canon, written for TheNotoriousLIP.


A/N Hey everyone! I wrote this for my beta LIP, as a congrats for her completing NaNoWriMo. It's a little longer than I had planned, but I figured that she had to wait a month and a half to get it, so I better make it worth the read. ^.^ So congrats for all your hard work, LIP! This is TIC canon, and references events in TIC: Books One and Two, so reading those will make this make much more sense. Rated M for mature subject themes, mainly child neglect and bereavement. Also, this may be considered a tearjerker to some readers… Better grab a tissue just in case. ~mel

**Papa Wolf**

The kid looks pretty rough.

Not rough in the "look at me once and I'll kick your ass" kind of way. More of a "someone needs to get this kid three square meals and a shower" kind of way. This was the kind of kid that smart parents didn't let take out their daughters, the kind of kid that looked like he had seen a whole lot more than Jared ever had.

That was saying something, because Jared has seen a lot in his life.

Brady and Collin are the youngest wolves to phase so far, and no one quite knows what to do with them. Collin seems pretty normal for a kid, but when Brady patrols, he hums the Goldfish crackers song in his head as he does to cover his thoughts, which are dark and angry and embarrassing to the young wolf when he's not patrolling with Collin. Sam gets annoyed and orders Brady to quit it, so he does. An hour later, Sam quietly tells Brady to hum if he wants to, and he puts Brady on permanent patrol with Collin. Jared just shakes his head and tries not to run the kid into the ground when they have their rare patrols together, and he tries to treat Brady like a man, because the pup's fighting a man's battle alongside them. The one time he tries to ask, to see if Brady maybe just needs to _talk_ to someone, the pup shuts him out completely, and Jared backs off, but not before seeing a little more than the pup wants Jared to see.

No fucking wonder the kid's parents lost him for a year. Some shit…some shit you just didn't do.

* * *

The pups had phased within moments of each other, and having to deal with two of them at once had been a pain in Sam's ass. They were only thirteen, which was far too young for this shit, but there wasn't a lot any of them could do about it. There was a war coming, a war that Jacob Black had pulled them into, and for right or wrong Jared had bigger worries than two kids that tripped when they ran because their legs were a little too long for their bodies, or their paws a bit too wide for their legs. So the pups were told to stay back and stay clear, and they would deal with them later.

Later didn't really come. Later was Jake leaving, and somehow managing to hurt them deeply by his absence, as if something so very integral had just been taken from them. That they had been abandoned, rejected. It left them shaken and angry, with only the Clearwater kid dealing with it the way they all should be dealing with it. But there were always other things to worry about. Jake came back, the Swan girl got herself pregnant by a leech of all things, and got herself turned. Jake left the Pack and somehow broke them all over again, and hell if he didn't take Seth and Leah with him. The Pack splintered, splintered even more, and yeah, it helped that the pups were around for extra patrols, but trying to decide if a treaty was broken, or if Sam and Jake were going to end up killing each other took precedence.

Kim gets pregnant and Jared gets a second job and a rental house with two bedrooms. For the best four months of his life, Jared keeps his hands working until they bleed, or he keeps them resting protectively on Kim's belly, protecting something that they hadn't planned on but that they now wanted more than anything. But life doesn't always give you want you want, sometimes it takes what you want, and then hits you again by taking what you need. Kim loses the baby and Jared loses both jobs, because even an imprint can't always carry a child to term, and a broken hearted wolf is still a man. He still forgets patrols and misses shifts because she hasn't stopped crying in days, and to be honest, neither has he, even if most of his tears are kept silent and inside.

Kim's saved up enough from her jewelry business with Emily that they still eat for awhile, but the house with two bedrooms becomes a one bedroom apartment on the rougher side of the rez, and between patrols Jared manages to find some work with Paul's uncle, who's competing pretty well with Bradley Jennings' private fishing boats these days. Jared sees his youngest Packmate working a few docks down for Brady's father and besides giving Brady a nod, Jared doesn't say a lot about it. Kids help in their parent's businesses. That's what they do.

Kim scratches a few cartoons, something she hasn't done since they started eating boxed macaroni and cheese because they _had_ to instead of because they wanted to. She calls herself a sellout and draws what people want to see, and she sells a few of her cartoons to the Peninsula Daily News. Jared remembers that he used to be a damn good fisherman when he and Paul were kids, and figures that even if this isn't his dream, at least it pays the bills. Kim sells a few more cartoons and then puts her notebook away, because she loves Jared and Jared loves her but it's a very real possibility that between them they both loved that baby more. Drawing was part of her heart, and her heart is still broken. She makes more jewelry instead.

Jared kisses her fingers when they grow blisters, and Kim doesn't say anything when he comes home reeking of sweat and wolf and fish. Jared goes to work the next morning and listens to Jennings reaming his kid about being half asleep and tangling the lines all up. Jared frowns because Brady ran a double last night so that Collin could catch a break with his parents, and he opens his mouth to say something.

"Sorry, Dad," the kid mutters, sounding angry and resentful, and a little scared. Which is dumb, because a semi-truck could hit the kid and he'd be fine, there was nothing that dickhead could possibly do to hurt Brady. Expect maybe look at him like that.

Jared and his brothers had done a lot of stupid shit over the years but their father had never looked at them like _that_. Like they were dirt.

You can't fix things when your hands are shaking, and the asshole thinks it's from fear that Brady is tangling everything up even more. He has no clue that the kid is trying so hard not to phase, so hard not to hurt his father, so hard to fix the lines without his wolf enhanced strength snapping them. Good fishing lines cost money, money that Jennings loses because he yells too much, upsets the kid too much, and Brady accidentally snaps the fishing line.

Jared is highly ranked in Sam's Pack, but in general his dominance level is pretty moderate. Brady however, for as rough as that kid looks, is the first to drop his eyes to another wolf, and Jared's pretty sure he knows who taught him that. Jennings is still reaming Brady, loud enough that everyone there is trying to hide the fact that they are listening, and it is Jared Qahla that finally says something.

"Hey, Jennings. I'll _buy_ you another line if you just shut the hell up already," Jared growls out loudly enough that everyone looks at him. "_Fuck_, man, he's just a kid." Jared shakes his head in disgust and goes back to work. He misses the look of shock Brady gives him, doesn't care about the snarl Jennings gives him, and Jared wonders if Kim's making tacos for dinner tonight. Jared _really_ likes tacos.

Brady won't look at Jared for a week.

* * *

Jacob Black does more than make waves. He's a damn tsunami in their lives.

Where Jake goes, chaos follows, although not necessarily in the bad way. He just shakes them up, sweeps them away, deposits them back down where he wants them when he's done. If Jared was a different man, a different wolf, he might have resented this young Alpha for taking them all into his Pack, for ousting Sam's leadership as if it never was even there, but from the startled look on Jake's face, even he hadn't expected to take Sam's Pack over in addition to his own. Seth thinks it's Leah, she's getting stronger these days. Sam thinks it might be Seth, who has shot up like a weed and bumped Sam _and_ Leah for the position of Beta, like the older wolves were nothing. But Jared's pretty sure that it's just Jake.

Jake is the force behind the masses, and as long as the young Alpha doesn't abandon them again, _please don't let the kid abandon them again_, then they will go along as he pushes them. Maybe it's better this way, the Pack is whole, and that feels…better.

The pups are too young to feel like they have much opinion, but it makes them nervous to have a new Alpha, one that makes even Sam want to cower before when Jake's dark eyes narrow in thought. The pups look scared to death as Jake watches them, and they scoot a little closer together instinctively. It reminds Jared of him and Paul, in a different time, in a different place, and Paul smirks a little when Jared looks over. Jake's first few orders of business are his last, because he doesn't like meetings, and he won't make them stay long.

"Seth and Sam will work out a new patrol schedule," Jake says, watching them all for signs of resentment or worry. Jared's not resentful, and if it bothers him to see his Alpha displaced, the look of sheer fucking _relief_ on Sam's face is enough to make Jared okay with this. Paul feels the way Jared does, and Embry and Quil would've ended up leaving them anyways, so they're ecstatic to have their old friend back. Seth and Leah look smug as hell, but hey, their Alpha just trumped another without even trying. Which leaves them with the pups, the pups who had barely gotten used to Sam, and who didn't look like they'd be able to handle the weight of Jake's gaze on them much longer without sticking their noses in the dirt.

Paul seals the four's fates by instinctively shifting a little in front of the pups, and Jake smirks a little. "Yeah, yeah, I know, Paul," Jake chuckles, even though Paul hasn't said a thing, and the Alpha stretches and shoots them all a lazy grin that will become his trademark. "Okay, same rules as you're used to still apply, and Seth will let you guys know anything we've changed after the schedule's made up. Oh, and Paul and Jared."

Jared is a good wolf and has kept his eyes lowered enough to not challenge the Alpha, but being singled out draws his gaze upwards as Jake says, "Collin and Brady are yours, now. Teach them what Sam taught you, what I taught Seth. And don't let them slip through the cracks, okay? Paul to Collin, Jared to Brady."

If the pups don't like this order, they are far too intimidated to say anything, but where the one pup smells nervous with a little bit of curious excitement, the other smells angry and resentful. Great. Angry and resentful had been Paul's thing, did Jared really have to get this one? Apparently he did.

Seth and Sam go off to restructure their whole worlds, Jake and Leah go off to hang out with some leeches, and Embry and Quil go off to patrol, leaving the four standing there silently. With the Alpha gone, Collin looks much more excited, bouncing on his heels and looking kind of like a puppy as he watches Paul. This earns Collin a groan and a head shake, Paul jerking his head before walking away, expecting Collin to follow him. Collin does, but not before giving Brady a sympathetic glance. To say that Brady looks less than enthused is a gross understatement. Jared stuffs his hands in his pockets and tries to give the kid a friendly smile, and gets a bitter glare in return.

"This is bullshit," Brady mutters, and Jared raises an eyebrow.

"Wanna say that again, kid?" Jared asks lightly, and Brady hunches his shoulders, trying to make himself a little smaller. He doesn't reply, clamping his mouth down tight, and Jared isn't a particularly imaginative fellow but even he can see the walls built up between this pup and the world.

It makes sense. After all, they had all seen in his head how Brady had grown up.

"Brady?" Jared says, deciding then and there that silence wasn't going to work, not with Jared anyways, and Brady ducks his head lower.

"Sorry," Brady mumbles and as Jared nods and gestures for Brady to follow him, the way Collin had done Paul, Jared feels eyes filled with resentment boring holes into his back. His _back_, not his head, because even now the kid's eyes are down. Jared doesn't like that, doesn't know why he's never noticed it before, even after having this kid in his Pack for so long. Maybe it's because Jared's been busy. Maybe it's because things were hard these days and Jared didn't want things even harder.

Maybe he was an asshole that should have been paying better attention.

Jared doesn't know what to do with a pup, so he tries to remember what Sam had done. Basically Sam had sighed and tried to keep them fed, so Jared takes Brady home with him. It isn't taco night, but they were wolves and food was food. Kim is used to having Pack around, so she doesn't say anything when two walk in their door instead of one, but he probably should have warned her. She has the trunk in their bedroom open, the one that Jared had built for their baby, the one that they had already started to fill in preparation when Kim miscarried. But Kim nods when Jared tells her that Brady is going to be around for a while, and she wipes her eyes, and she starts on a second pot of spaghetti.

Kim can ruin spaghetti like no other when she is distracted, but Brady never says a word, eating what is put in front of him before muttering that he has to get home.

"Hey kid." Jared stops him before Brady can leave, and the pup gives him a resentful look when Jared narrows his eyes. "Tell her thank you."

Brady narrows his own eyes, but Jared outranks him, outranks him by several wolves and five years of life and Brady mutters "Thanks," before slinking out. Kim looks at Jared, looks a little amused, and Jared shrugs.

"New Alpha, new rules." New pup. But he wasn't going to tell her that part.

* * *

The kid doesn't like him, at least that's what Jared thinks. Jared spends some time trying to teach the pup something, anything, but he's not interested in learning, and Jared's too preoccupied to push the issue.

The fishing season is good and they have some money saved up, and someone offers Jared a job up in Alaska. He plans on turning it down because he doesn't want to leave his imprint, not when Kim is finally starting to only cry once a week now. It's nice seeing her happier, and it makes an aching knot in his chest loosen, but then it occurs to Jared that beneath the knot of _her_ pain is an even deeper knot of his own. The pain of loss has settled in too deeply, has eaten away a part of who he is, and without having anyone else to blame, Jared blames Kim for it. He spends two weeks barely saying a word to her, and he knows it hurts her, but he's not ready to talk about why. Jared loves Kim, and he loves being imprinted to Kim, but it fucked with him this time, didn't let him heal when he should have, and he resents her like hell.

Jared feels like a dick, but it doesn't stop him from taking that job in Alaska, just to not have to see her looking happier when he wants to curl up in a fucking ball and die. He'll be gone for a month, and Kim is wounded that he never even talked to her first before committing himself to it, and they fight like cats and dogs about it up until the day he leaves. His Alpha lets him leave, knowing he needs some time alone, but there's no one to wish him well because even Paul thinks he's being a total asshole about it. Still, Paul pads along with Jared to Seattle, and Collin and Brady come too, even though Brady doesn't say a word to him.

It occurs to Jared as he sits on a plane to Alaska, alone for the first time in years, that Brady looked angry when Jared gave them all a quiet wave goodbye. He doesn't know why. Three weeks in, Jared has decided that the money is good, and this is something that he can really _do_, and that the time alone has helped him realize that Paul is wrong. He's not an asshole, he's human, and humans don't always make their choices with other people in mind. But Jared misses his girl, and he misses his Pack, and he's ready to come home. It's faster to run than to fly, so he runs, although he gets nervous as he passes near Juneau, making sure to drift wide until that nervousness passes. Brady's not patrolling when he gets home, but they all hear Jared coming when his thought drift into range, and the whole Pack is gathered to welcome him back. Well, mostly the whole Pack. Brady immediately phases out a few minutes before Jared trots into La Push, and Jared gets a little offended at the obvious slight.

Paul thinks that Jared's pup spent the last month sleeping in the bushes behind Jared's house, watching over Kim protectively, and Jared should keep his mouth shut. Jared agrees.

Jared has a lot of making up to do with Kim, but she loves him, and she's lonely, and she was ready for him to come home too. Their lovemaking is rougher than usual, and he's pretty sure that she broke a fingernail on his shoulder muscles when she pressed him for more, and she's pretty sure that he doesn't mean to cry afterwards, even if it is silently. She holds him and he tells her that he's sorry, and he tells her that losing their baby hurt him. It hurt him more than he had been ready to deal with. Kim understands, and tells him that she loves him, but she tells him that the next time he walks away from her for a month instead of talking to her, that she's leaving him.

It hurts to hear, but he's not surprised. Kim's got more backbone than everyone wants to believe, and being imprinted on hasn't stripped her of her pride. Sitting quietly in the background doesn't make you weak, sometimes it makes you the strongest of all. It's something that she and Jared are very good at doing together, and he's embarrassed that in reacting as much as he did that he's exposed their personal life too much to their Pack. So she sleeps and he sits on the back porch and drinks a beer, and then he tells Brady to stop hiding in the trees out back of the small apartment building. It's late and it's dark, but the kid should know better by now than to pad into Jared's back yard still in wolf form.

It makes Jared frown, and by the red wolf's body language, Jared's pretty sure Brady does it on purpose.

Jared points and the pup sinks to the ground at his feet, and Jared notices that the young red wolf doesn't touch him. In becoming Pack, they have all developed a need for contact with each other, with the imprints, with their Alpha. Shoulders bumping, sitting closer than grown men ever did, but it was instinctual. But Brady stays away.

Brady's feet and muzzle are darker, making him look like a huge fox, and Jared wonders if the kid knows he is the most interesting looking of them all. Brady won't like that piece of information, he wants to keep his head down, to blend in, to not rock the boat.

"Thanks for watching her," Jared says quietly, and the wolf refuses to look at him, exhaling heavily in a canine sigh. Brady doesn't like him and Jared wonders if it's personal or if it's the world that Brady has such a hard time with. So Jared tests it out, grabs Brady by the ruff of the neck like he really is a puppy, and hauls him closer. Brady grunts in surprise and then growls, but Jared pulls the pup's head across his knee. He expects Brady to relax and leave his head there, and Jared watches in shock and a little respect as Brady actually bites him.

The son of a bitch _bites_ him.

Jared's first instinct is to bite him back, or to grab the damn pup's muzzle and shake the hell out of him until the kid never thinks he can do that shit ever again. But Brady stinks of fear, even as he makes a stand, and instinct makes Jared do nothing.

The kid's biting him, teeth sunk into either side of Jared's legs up to the gums, and Jared just sits there. His hand balls into a fist in the kid's ruff until the worst of the initial pain passes, and as the deeper, harder pain rolls from hip to toe, Jared's hand relaxes. The kid's still biting him when Jared rests a heavy hand on Brady's head, running his fingers over the kid's ears and neck soothingly. Brady obviously doesn't know what to do, and he flinches, as if Jared's non-reaction is much more intimidating to him than an overreaction would have been.

Jared decides that it's not the world Brady dislikes, it's him, and it's more than dislike. Brady doesn't want another person that he has to cower in front of, and belonging to Jared is the epitome of what Brady doesn't want to do. He's prepared to fight for himself, this time he's big enough and strong enough to come back swinging, and Brady's learned from the best that it's always the one that throws the first punch that wins the fight.

Brady's utterly unprepared for Jared to not punch back.

Eventually Brady can't handle the fact that Jared's shoe is filling with blood, or that Jared's blood is all that Brady can taste in his mouth, and he whimpers apologetically and opens his jaws. Jared hisses in pain, and Brady cringes, but Jared's hand stays resting in the thick red hair as if trying to comfort the kid. Brady tries to back up, but Jared's fingers tighten so that Brady has to stay. The red wolf shivers but settles again, this time laying his head next to Jared's hip on the porch step. Not touching, but almost.

By the time Jared finishes his beer, his leg has healed, although these jeans are shredded for good. He gives Brady a rough pat on the neck, saying, "You're a good kid, Brady. Thanks again for watching her."

Jared sleeps that night with an aching leg and the person he loves the most in the world, and he listens with one ear to a kid in torn sweats sitting on his back porch, the one still staring at a puddle of blood on a porchstep.

* * *

That night is a turning point for Jared and Brady, but not in any way that Jared would have ever expected. Instead of becoming friends, Brady starts giving Jared hell.

Paul thinks it's kind of funny, but then again, Paul has Collin. Collin so obviously hero-worships Paul that it is rare to see a grey wolf without a second grey wolf at the first's heels. That one does everything Paul tells him, albeit finding amusing ways to cause his own brand of hell in the meantime. Collin has hit puberty far too young, and uses it to his advantage far too often, and Paul spends as much time training his pup to be a better wolf as he does dragging Collin out of parties a fourteen year old has no business going to. Collin declares that Paul, his papa wolf, is much too hard on him, and that grown men shouldn't be cock blocking kids in the prime of their youth.

Paul thinks that Collin will be less concerned with cock blocking if he's too tired from patrols to even _think_ about getting himself in trouble. So Paul runs Collin into the ground, teaches him everything he has ever known about being a wolf and being Pack and being a good man, and Collin laps it up greedily. Collin's a sucker for attention, and Paul's got a major soft spot for the kid, and Collin's loyalty and affection is easy to earn.

Brady…not so much. Brady resists anything and everything Jared tries to teach him, refuses to give an inch of effort, and he pays for it. Collin's getting better, faster, stronger, and Brady's falling behind. But Brady makes it clear that he would rather be dead last than to attempt to become a "suck up" like his best friend. Brady also makes it clear that he wants nothing to do with Jared, tries to arrange patrols to not run with Jared, deliberately doesn't show up when Jared schedules extra time to work with him.

Paul would have already reamed Collin from head to toe, but Jared is a patient wolf, and he's got a pretty good idea what Brady's doing, at least after Jared and Kim spend a while talking it over. So Jared remains patient, and Brady gets worse. Brady ignores his orders when on patrol, as if daring Jared to use force to _make_ him listen. He gets his hands on alcohol, even though he's only fourteen, and shows up to a Pack meeting completely trashed. He starts taking Jared's car and leaving it random places on the rez, even though he's too young to drive. He raides their fridge when they're not home, cleaning them out multiple times a week. He's rude, disrespectful, calls Jared an asshole to his face in front of the Pack. Jared watches this all quietly, watches Brady to see how far he's willing to push, and if the kid's smart enough to not push too far.

Brady's not.

Kim's getting pissed about this whole thing, even though she understands what Jared and Brady are doing. It's just that it's been several months of this and it's frustrating to come home and have nothing to eat for dinner _again_. Brady's gotten bold, is sitting on their front porch with a challenging expression on his face when Kim and Jared come back from buying more groceries with money they don't really have.

"Thanks for cleaning us out again, Brady," Kim mutters under her breath, and Brady glares.

"Deal with it, bitch," he mumbles back, as if he couldn't care less what she thinks, and he stands up suddenly as if threatening her. Kim looks shocked, and for a moment Jared almost loses it, but Brady is already braced for the ass kicking he thinks is coming. This is the last button he knows to push, and he pushes it hard, and doesn't know what to do when Jared just steps in front of Kim and growls at Brady to watch his mouth around a woman. Jared shoves a bag of groceries into Brady's arms.

"That cost thirty bucks, kid," Jared adds, forcibly softening his voice, "You're running my next three shifts to pay me back. Come on inside, and put them away. You're eating dinner with us tonight."

Brady leaves the groceries on the porch, stalks away stiff legged and stiffer jawed, but the kid is confused and angry, and Jared's almost proud of himself when Brady turns on his heels and says, "You know what? Fuck you, Jared."

When he says it, Brady doesn't even cringe or drop his eyes once. But he does run Jared's next three patrols.

At the next day's Pack meeting Jared watches Brady watching Paul and Collin, and he looks jealous and angry and more the fourteen year old kid that he really is than ever. He's rough as hell these days, cursing like a sailor, and he still needs a bath. Jared's refrigerator has been providing the three square meals, if in one large daily lump, and maybe tomorrow Jared will drag Brady out back and hose him off. Hating yourself isn't a good enough reason to be unclean.

Paul tells Jared that Collin's proud of Brady right now. It's about damn time Brady let someone else besides Collin in, the other pup thinks, and Jared groans and shakes his head. If this is Brady opening up, then Jared's got a bigger project on his hands than he'd ever realized. Brady runs Jared's patrols and he ends up on Jared's back porch each of those three nights, right around dinnertime, hovering uncomfortably. The first night he turns and walks away, and Jared listens to him mutter to himself that it's all bullshit anyways. The second night Brady makes it to the backdoor, tries to knock, and then ends up punching it instead before fleeing. He's knocked the door off its hinges, but Jared leaves it for now. The third night Jared meets Brady at the door and tells him to get his ass inside already. Dinner's getting cold.

Brady slinks inside, mutters an apology to Kim, and then helps Jared fix the door he broke the night before. They have to install all new hardware, so it'll take a while, but at least Brady isn't biting Jared or running away.

"Hand me an allen wrench, kid," Jared says, and Brady grunts beside him. The allen wrench doesn't materialize, and Jared pretends to examine the hardware and watches Brady fumble with the tools out of the corner of his eye. Brady looks embarrassed, but it's obvious that the kid doesn't know what one is the allen wrench. Jared doesn't know why he's surprised, it's not like Bradley Jennings would have ever taught his son anything useful besides what would benefit Jennings the most.

"I take it back, just grab me a screwdriver, flathead," Jared changes his mind and finds something else to work on, and he sees the look of relief on Brady's face. Brady knows that one, a flathead screwdriver, and it gets passed over.

Brady doesn't apologize for breaking the door, but he does learn to fix it. The pup rolls his eyes because Jared insists on saying some fact about every tool he picks up, but Jared makes sure to say the name and purpose of each and every tool as he does. Brady leaves thinking Jared's boring, but knowing exactly what an allen wrench is, and what it's for, and looking pleased that he helped do something with visible results.

Kim sighs when Jared comes inside, a ten minute job drawn out nearly two hours. "Well," she says, "I suppose the kitchen sink should get broken next." Then she gives Jared a cheeky grin. "At least I won't have to cook for a while this way." Jared grins back and chases her into their bedroom, listening to her laugh when he catches her and drags her into their bed and under his body.

The next morning, Jared carefully makes the kitchen sink leak. If Brady wants to eat again, he'll have to learn to fix that too.

* * *

Brady's fifteen and Jared's twenty, and Kim finally tells Jared that she wants to try to have another baby with him. Jared tells her no.

Kim takes it hard, although she's not so much angry at him as she is at herself. She still thinks that it's her fault, that she did something wrong and that's why they lost the baby, and that he can't trust her to try again. But Jared knows she's wrong, and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that it's his own fault. After all, he's had over a year to analyze everything that's happened, and he thinks that if he had been a better provider, been able to afford the best healthcare right away, or hadn't been working the night she had miscarried, hadn't left her all alone…then things would be different.

Paul says that he's being illogical. Doc Cullen had said that there was nothing that could have been done, and that was that. Jared's been shredding himself for a year over this. The grief, the loss, may never go away, but Paul thinks Jared needs to start trying to let the guilt go. There was nothing Jared or Kim could have done differently. It isn't their fault. Jared doesn't want to hear that, thinks Paul should have waited another year or another lifetime to tell him that. The pups show up as Jared punches Paul in the face as hard as he can, and they stare, confused and upset. Paul can take a hit with the best of them, but Jared can throw a punch with the best of them, and he lays Paul out.

Jared stomps away, ends up taking his anger out on a tree that didn't deserve that kind of treatment, and he only starts to calm down when he realizes that Brady's there. The pup is closer than Jared would had thought he would get, and Brady looks miserable as he leans against a fallen cedar wood tree, but he's still there. Jared forces himself to breathe, to stop shaking in anger, and it's a testament to the fact that Jared has spent a year earning Brady's trust that Brady doesn't flinch away when he slides to the ground to sit next to the kid.

"I feel like that a lot," Brady finally says, and he pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up in front of Jared. Jared reaches over and takes the pack, like he does every time, and Brady doesn't even argue this time.

"Sorry you had to see that, kid," Jared grunts, and Brady shrugs as if it doesn't matter.

"My dad does worse, and not to a tree," Brady says, his mouth lopsided as if he's making a joke, but Jared doesn't think it's funny. He doesn't think that bad people should get good kids and get to waste them, to break them. He doesn't think that good people should lose their kids and have to watch others ruin the gifts they were given.

Jared growls, and shakes his head. "I'm not your father, Brady," Jared says harshly. _I'm no one's father_, he thinks silently, before adding aloud. "I'll _never_ be like him." Jared stands and leaves, and Brady follows because that's what he does now. Paul and Jared are rarely seen without a pup at their heels, although Brady still doesn't look like he wants to be there.

Sometime over the last few months the couch has become Brady's second bed, and Brady's not particularly comfortable anywhere that Collin isn't with him, but he's less uncomfortable on that couch than most places. Brady lies a lot about where he is, what he's doing, but unlike Collin's parents, Jennings doesn't care. He's too busy fighting with his soon to be ex-wife. Brady pretends it's not World War III at home, but he sneaks out at night and these days he's not welcome on Collin's parent's couch, so he comes here.

Kim says she likes the company when Jared's on night patrols, but Jared thinks she likes having someone to take care of more. Brady doesn't fight her the way he still fights Jared, Kim doesn't have to prove anything to the kid. So they joke around and they tease each other, and Jared likes hearing the extra noise when he comes home. Brady and Kim have a shared secret passion of watching the Cooking Network, not that Jared thinks the hours spent watching has improved either one of their culinary abilities. In fact, it's had the opposite effect. At least the boxed macaroni and cheese was good, if easy to prepare, but Brady and Kim have started making 'creations', and that is never a good sign for Jared's stomach. He chokes it down though, because Kim is his imprint and he loves her, and Brady seems to find it funny that Jared will eat whatever shit Brady ends up coming up with, just to be nice to him.

Brady is starting to accept the fact that even when it pisses him off, or confuses him, or makes him uncomfortable, that Jared is going to continue being nice to him. And with that acceptance, the walls start to come down. Slowly Brady relaxes, stops knocking before coming in the house, stops pushing Jared's buttons to see if this is all fake and that Jared's going to turn on him after all. But Jared never does. He teaches Brady to be a wolf, lessons that Collin learn from Paul months ago, and it's obvious that Brady doesn't have the natural ability that Collin does. Still, it's okay because Jared's a patient teacher, at least when it comes to Brady, and Brady tries his heart out now, at least when it comes to Jared.

One night Brady manages to outhunt Jared in one of their many Pack training games, and when he realizes this, Brady flattens in wolf form, as if outdoing Jared was something horribly wrong. When Jared tells the pup he's proud of him, in front of their entire Pack, Brady shivers and looks miserable all over again, and he hides from Jared for nearly a week.

The fact that Brady does so at his father's house shows how much guilt Brady feels, but right around the time that Jared decides to risk a blowout with Bradley Jennings so he can just get Brady home already, the kid shuffles through the front door. His pillow is still on the couch, and it doesn't escape Jared's notice that Brady looks at it and almost cries. Whatever happened at home, Brady doesn't want to talk about, and he patrols for days while singing the Goldfish crackers song, and Jared decides he hates that song more than any other he's ever heard.

Brady calms down after a few weeks, and learns how to work on a car engine, and how to build a new kitchen table, and that he really sucks at painting. Jared stops eating cheese flavored crackers.

Kim pulls out her notepad again and starts to doodle, and Jared tries not to resent the fact that her wounds are healing faster than his are. He's moved on to blaming her for losing their baby, and he hates himself every day for thinking that way. He knows, he _knows_ that it's not her fault and this isn't fair and it isn't true, but he still feels it anyways. The Pack are shocked and a little angry at him when Jared fails to hide it from them, but Brady says quietly that Jared's allowed his pain. Jared doesn't like that, doesn't like Brady feeling like he needs to protect Jared, when it should be the other way around. So Jared clamps down in his hurt even harder and tries to push it away.

Jared doesn't have the heart to tell Kim that he won't get her pregnant again, ever. He won't go through this again, he loves too deeply to risk the loss. Anyways, he's happy with how things are, he's got Kim and they've both got Brady and the rest of the Pack, and that's good enough for him.

Money gets tight and Jared goes back to Alaska, and this time when he comes home, it doesn't hurt his feelings that Brady isn't with the Pack waiting for him. The pup is in a better place, on Jared's kitchen counter stealing the cookies that Kim is baking Jared as a welcome home surprise. Kim is smiling and Brady is chuckling, and when Jared slips through the door (after having watched them for a moment with his own smile on his face), Jared gets two hugs. The first is full of all the warmth and passion that he and Kim have always shared when they embrace in private, even when life is hard, even when they don't agree. The second is awkward and brief, and the pup immediately flushes red and mutters something about being late for patrol before going down and sitting on the couch. His couch. _Brady's_ couch. It's not Jared and Kim's any longer, but it feels better this way.

Jared make sure to ruffle Brady's hair when he walks by, knowing it annoys the hell out of the kid. Brady lets him do it every single time.

* * *

Brady's sixteen now, if only by a few days, and he's finally in love.

He asks his dad if he can work to earn some cash, can't take a girl out if you don't have any cash, but Jennings has been pissed at Brady for two years running now. Ever since "that damn Qahla and his whore stole my kid". Jared's sympathy for Jennings is non-existent, he's seen the look in Brady's eyes that still lingers when no one is watching. Brady's healing but slowly, and sometimes when the walls soften, it's the hardest time of all. Jared wants to tell Brady to not do this, not now. Brady wants to be a man, and Jared knows that too much of him is still a kid, but Jared's not Brady's father. When Brady asks Jared, Jared gives him twenty bucks to fix the back porch swing that keeps breaking. Kim misses swinging in it and Jared's been working at the docks almost constantly now and just doesn't have the time.

Kim thinks Jared's being lazy, and that if he keeps breaking the same things to help Brady earn spending money, that the kid will catch on. Jared pretends to not hear her logic, he likes doing this far too much.

So Brady earns his twenty dollars, and he puts on the nice collared shirt that Kim and Jared got him for his birthday, and Brady asks a girl to dinner. She's been a friend of Brady's for a couple years now, and the truth comes out why. To her credit, the girl tries to let Brady down gently, he's a nice guy, he really is. But she likes Collin and has for a while.

News travels fast, and Jared had already half destroyed his car's engine block preparing for the dejected kid that shuffles his way up to Jared and Kim's apartment. Brady doesn't say anything, he just crawls under the car with Jared and starts to work.

"Have you ever noticed how much shit breaks around here?" Brady mutters after a while, and Jared chuckles.

"It's occurred to me," Jared replies, grunting and trying to remember how to put this back together. It's been a good hour, the kid has finally broken down and given a slightly dramatic sigh, very close to how Collin is prone to doing to Paul daily. So Jared figures it's been enough time to ask. "So, what happened with the girl?"

"Apparently I'm a nice guy," Brady grumbles as he works, and Jared's pleased that Brady remembers where that part goes, because Jared sure as hell doesn't. "I've never been accused of that one before."

Jared nods and asks for a ratcheting wrench. Brady passes it over without having to look. "I've gotten that one before," Jared admits. "Not as much as Paul though. It used to confuse the hell out of him too."

"I'm kind of a dick," Brady says, as if he's not really believing what the girl had said. Jared figures Brady's too green to tell him the truth. Sometimes girls tore your heart into little shreds and didn't even try to soften it. It actually could have been worse.

"She say anything else?" Jared can't help but ask, and Brady grunts.

"No."

No, because Brady's loyal as hell, once his loyalty's been earned. Collin earned that loyalty first and Brady's not putting his broken heart on Collin's shoulders, that's not the man he is. Jared feels ashamed, suddenly deeply ashamed, because he's been putting his broken heart on Kim for a long time now. "She's a bitch anyways," Brady's self-pride adds, and Jared gives him a look.

"Watch your mouth, Brady," Jared says sternly, although not as firmly as normal. Brady flushes a little but presses his lips together. His manners are getting better, much better, but sometimes the older rougher Brady slips out, mostly when he's hurt. Jared doesn't like to see his pup hurt, so he sighs heavily and rests his head on the ground. "Listen kid, women…they're gonna either make you feel on top of the world, or they're gonna beat your heart to a bloody pulp. And the best ones always end up managing to do both at the same time. But you have to remember that for each one that breaks you, there's another out there that's gonna make it all okay again. It just sometimes takes way too long, or happens way too fast. But it'll happen when it's supposed to."

"I'd rather just imprint and have it be smooth sailing from there," Brady grunts and Jared chuckles when Brady adds, "At least you know you'll stay together."

Jared tightens the bolt over his head and then he gives Brady a look out of the corner of his eye. "Hey Brady? Being imprinted might bring two people together but it doesn't _keep_ them together."

"Then what does?" Brady asks, sounding disbelieving and Jared smiles a little.

"Love, kid. Love keeps people together, even when it gets shitty." _Even when one's been an asshole for far too long to his girl, for things that aren't her fault. Even when your first love is in love with your best friend_.

Brady thinks about that, and then looks over. "Hey Jared? Was there anyone before Kim? One that got away?"

Jared smiles and this time it's bigger, better. "There's always one that gets away, Brady. It's the ones that don't that are worth it."

Brady nods and falls silent, and they finish the car together. They go inside, and Kim gives Brady a crushing hug for someone as small as she is, and Kim spends the next three hours being aggressively female. Meaning Brady is getting anything he wants from her, including the remote control, the contents of their pantry, and Kim ranting about how this girl was an idiot for turning Brady down. Kim is damn good at dressing someone down, but she can dress them up just as well, and by the time she is done, Brady is feeling pretty good about himself. They spend the night watching movies about things blowing up, and they order pizza, and they do their best to make it okay again. When they say goodnight, heading off to their room, the kid settled on the couch looks back to normal.

Jared knows that will last about as long as it takes for Brady to sit in the dark living room through two programs, not really watching. This morning he was in love, and now he's just a dumbass for putting himself out there. Jared gives Brady an hour before slipping from his bed he shares with Kim, and he goes into the living room. That rough look is back, playing about the kid's features, and for the first time ever, Jared's tempted to hand the kid a beer. Instead he gives Brady a soda and sits down in the living room easy chair. Without even looking, Jared knows Brady's hurting.

Brady's eyes shine in the flickers of the television screen as he turns to Jared. "He's always gonna be better than me, isn't he?" Brady asks softly, taking a drink. "Collin. He's always going to be better. He's going to be stronger, faster, smarter…he'll get the girls. He's just _better_."

Brady sounds resigned and hurt, self-conscious and ashamed. Jared flinches from that pain, takes his own drink, and wishes that he knew what to say. Maybe it was good that Jared was never having kids, would never be a father, because he sure as hell didn't know what is right and what is wrong, what will help and what will hurt. But Brady's looking at him for answers, so Jared turns to the pup on the couch and says the only thing that he can think of to say.

"What happens out there, kid," Jared rumbles quietly, pointing at the front door. "What happens out there is up to you. You have to make of it what you will, and no one can do that for you. But in here? No, Brady. In here, Collin will never be better than you."

It feels like the worst thing in the world to say, but Brady nods, and then the kid smiles a little, the smile even touching his eyes. "Yeah? That's…cool."

Jared stays awake until Brady falls asleep on the couch, and the next morning he finds something on the kitchen table. It's a new notepad for Kim, paid for with Brady's hard earned twenty bucks, and a note from the pup to him.

It reads, _"Broke the swing so you didn't have to. See you after school."_

The older wolf smiles.

* * *

Jared asks Kim to marry him, but he does it with a mouthful of pizza and she's not impressed. Their Pack changes, grows. There are more imprints, more Packmates, more distractions, and Jared leaves for war, thinking he's probably never coming back. It breaks his heart to see the look of abandonment in Brady's eyes as they leave him to guard the reservation alone, but Jared can't help but feel glad. He doesn't want Brady in this battle, and as Jared helps Paul bury the bodies of the wolves they killed, he knows he was right.

Jake comes home and Paul leaves, taking Jared's pup with him.

Brady almost never comes back at all.

Up until this point, the worst day in Kim and Jared's lives has been the day they lost their baby. But Jared has never tried to talk his pup into calmness, knowing that the enemy wolves surrounding Brady were going most likely going to make sure Jared's pup died. Each blow, each cry of hurt, both physical and emotional, wounded Jared deeply into his core. Jared wonders as Brady's dying in his head, if this is anything like what Kim felt, their child dying in her body. Helpless, Jared can only whisper to his pup that it would all be okay, that Brady was strong and he was brave and that they loved him.

_God, how much they loved him_.

Once again, Kim cries for days, and Jared stays phased day and night to try and get a moment with his pup. Jared nearly loses his hard earned control when he hears it again. That damn Goldfish crackers song, the one he hates beyond all others. They can't take it anymore, not having him in front of them, and Jared tells Jake he _is_ leaving La Push to come get Brady. If Jake doesn't let Sam release him from the order, Jared is going to try and fight his former Alpha and _make_ it happen. Jake is exhausted, worried, and thinks that it'll be a good thing to have Jared there, so the order is lifted. Jared can come to the border of the new Calgary Pack's territory, and he should bring Carlisle Cullen with him.

Jared does, nearly grinding his teeth down out of sheer fucking frustration. _His_ pup. _Jared's_ pup. Jared's pup almost _died_, and Jared needed to be _there_ with Brady, not here. But then Brady is there, and Jared is yelling at him for the first time since the kid joined their Pack. He knows he shouldn't but he was so damn scared, so scared they were going to lose him, and Jared couldn't go through that. Not again. Not ever fucking again.

Brady takes it well, doesn't get frightened, and as he sobs against Jared's shoulder like a broken child, Jared briefly wonders if he should kill his entire Pack, Alpha and best friend included, for letting this happen. Instead he gathers up his pup and he takes him home. Home, to a couch that was Brady's, and a notepad full of cartoons Kim had drawn over these past months just to make Brady laugh. Home, where Kim was waiting for them, probably still holding onto Brady's pillow as she prayed to everything under the sun for Brady to just come home to them, to be okay.

Brady comes home, but he's not okay. Calgary hasn't just broken him, Calgary has _shattered_ him.

The Alpha practically lives at their house for the next few weeks, helping Brady make it through, helping him heal by force of presence alone. Jake finally leaves, saying he has to go check on his imprint, and Jared's tempted to tell Jake to not let the door hit him on the ass on the way out. He can't help it. He loves his Alpha, but he thinks he loves Brady more, and Brady is just so broken.

The pup cries at night in his sleep, and Jared and Kim take turns holding his head on their laps. It's hard not to be angry, to be protective over what is theirs, and for a while, no one except Sam and Emily are particularly welcome in their home. Sam watches Jared try to comfort Brady, the pup twisting and turning in nightmares, and the oldest wolf's face gives way to pain. "I'm sorry, Jared," Sam says softly, walking behind the couch and putting a solid hand on Jared's shoulder. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

Jared nods, takes a deep breath, and tries to steel himself to take care of his family the best way he can.

Brady's body heals, but his heart doesn't, and he won't say a word. Not a word beyond yes and no answers, not to anyone. Jared looks at this pup, this kid who has seen things that Jared never will see, and Jared's own heart breaks. Kim makes Brady ten bowls of Frosted Flakes in a row every morning until mid-July, when Brady finally looks at Jared. At this point, Jared is scared that Brady will end up never talking to any of them again.

"Jared? Can we go fix something?" Brady asks, and his voice is deeper, raspy from lack of use. "Please?"

Jared's arms are around Kim, and she's drawing all of them together, and at Brady's words, her pencil breaks. Brady gets up and gets her a new one, and Jared has time to close his eyes and center himself. "Sure, Brady," Jared whispers. "Whatever you want."

They tear the car apart, a process that takes them hours, and somewhere between the alternator and the oil pan, Brady looks at Jared, and he looks ashamed as his eyes well up with tears. "Hey, Jared? Can we…can we talk?" Talk about Calgary. Talk about Montana. Talk about his dad. Talk about it _all_.

Jared closes his eyes, steadies himself, and then nods. He won't tear up, no matter what the pup says. He won't.

"Yeah, kid," Jared says quietly. "We can talk."

* * *

Brady will never call Jared papa wolf, the way Collin always calls Paul. But then again, Collin already has a father, a good one, and that's his only way to show the older wolf that Paul is special.

No, Brady calls Jared by his name, and Kim by hers, but his voice always holds a soft note of vulnerability when he does. Very few people notice. Jared's in the background a lot of the time, and Kim keeps her mouth shut with her Packmates, and Brady's….well, he's Brady. It's easy for them to be overlooked. But Jared brags about Brady when he's working, is planning on bringing the kid to Alaska with him in another year or two, is proud to think about him and Brady working side by side. Kim still opens the chest up sometimes, but if she does it when Brady's around, his quick grin always makes her tears dry. And if they don't, Brady stays with her as long as she needs him to. On the other, better days, she spoils him horribly, because it's about time that someone did, and Brady never lets her forget that she promised him more cookies. He ate the last batch already, and he really does prefer homemade over store bought. Maybe she could not burn them this time?

Brady's has gotten as good as Jared is at ducking shoes.

Their pup is still rough around the edges, and he always will be. Even though he'd die for them without regret, Brady will still never be able to tell them how special they are to him. But even if Jared Qahla hasn't figured it out yet, Brady Jennings knows _exactly_ who his father is, and exactly how good of a father that man can be.

There's a broken porch swing and a pillow on a couch to prove it.


End file.
